Our friends the Chinese

Through an ingenious series of tunnels that most of us started as children we now have a secret means of getting troops into China from below. SMOOT, the Secret Mole Organization of Tunnelers, developed as thousands of kids in the 50s and 60s began digging holes to China. As our tunnels inadvertently intersected with each other the organization began to form. After Tiananmen Square we realized that reform in China was unlikely to happen and we redoubled our efforts with the goal of providing an underground railroad to ferry Muslim Uighur, Tibetans, Christians, activist, journalist, and anybody else on the long list of people China brutalizes. So far we have kept this secret but must now make these tunnels accessible to our military should an invasion become necessary.